Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Enough with the flames already

Do you remember in the 80's when everybody chopped off their sideburns and had their muttons chopped from the ears down like kraftwerk? Anybody remember acid washed jeans? Looked great back then with a Guns'n Roses wife beater. Mark my words, in a couple of years you're going to be looking at iron crosses, flames and tribal tattoos in the same sour disdain. Save yourself now, shed that crap and quick before you find yourself in one of those "what was I thinking" timeless pictures. Like the one with you wearing a dayglow bandana to keep your mullet bangs out of your eyes.

Things I'd like to see die:

1) Iron crosses
2) Flames on everything
3) OCC & West Coast Chopper stuff (especially the crap at Zellers)
4) Tribal tattoos
5) Harley t-shirts & underwear
6) Faux-hawks and pointy ridge gel hair
7) Contrived indy rock
8) Those god damn MTV spots that they haven't changed for too goddamn many farking years
9) Michael Moore educated vegan eco-drones
10) Post modern hippy culture
11) "X" everything - how the hell is toothpaste extreme?
12) Paris, Jessica, Avril and Britney (not dead, just gone away like the Spice Girls)
13) Reality shows
14) Manufactured pop singers and their goddamn factory shows

Things I'd like to see/see more of:

1) Fish tacos (don't laugh until you had one)
2) Lumberjack fashion
3) The Clash
4) Alexis on Fire/Avenged Sevenfold/Screamers
5) Girl rockers/Kittie/Distillers
6) Motocross tracks and offroad trails close to the city
7) A mini-cross track in town
9) Free outdoor shows (although there are lots already)
10) Better ways to hear new music
11) MuchLoud
12) Space 1999/Logans Run/Bladerunner esthetics
13) Community kite fighting
14) Urban paint ball days
15) Surfable standing waves in rapids
16) Beer price wars
17) Gas price wars
18) Better/cheaper/universal PVRs

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