Thursday, September 30, 2004

What a long week

I was in Ottawa yesterday and saw Jack Layton on the street giving an interview. It was a loooong day. Next week I have two day trips to Ottawa on Wed and Fri and have to drive back each time. This isn't so bad because I bought half a dozen CDs that I haven't listened to yet (Atreyu, Alexis on Fire, International Noise Conspiracy, Good Charlotte). Speaking of which, I bought the new album by the Cure which has more in common with the first three albums than anything released in the past two decades. Not to shabby for a bunch of old guys who wear makeup.

In other news, a surfer rode a whale in San Clamente and this bear took a man hostage and ate all his chocolate. What the hell is up with the bears this year? My life seems to be punctuated by bizarre bear stories (?)

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Speaking of fungus, here's a cool mushroom called the spiney puffball. For some reason, there's tons of them around this year. This probably has to do with the bizarre weather that we have had. Usually these things only grow near the water but they seem to be everywhere. (??) Posted by Hello

She goes south for another winter :( Posted by Hello

Monday, September 27, 2004

So what's next?

Half a dozen years ago, I was telling people about wireless music services, tiny digital music players, subscription services and music libraries in the air. As it turns out this stuff quickly became available and boring, you can get all of that stuff at Walmart now. So the question is, what is next? The answer to that is pretty tough because the technology is really far ahead of the licensing issues right now so there is almost no way to innovate given the complexity of working out licensing deals with the few remaining record companies. So if services aren't going to change drastically, what else can change? Here's a couple of things that give you a good peek at what will probably be commonplace in a couple of years:

- Cars that detect your portable music and can control your device. The new BMWs already can do this with the iPod and there are some adapters for a bunch of cars. Nothing common or standardized yet but assume that a Bluetooth device and a Bluetooth phone should be easily and transparently integrated with your car computer when you come into your car in a couple of years. While you're at it, you won't need a key - just an RFID tag in your wallet.

- Softgoods with integrated electronics. Burton has an ugly MP3 playing hat and Oakley has ugly MP3 playing shades. How long until all the others follow? And why is it that today's clothing doesn't have cell phone and MP3 player pockets? I have heard that there are some jewelry inspired memory sticks coming out too. I'd like to see a Bluetooth motorcycle helmet with speakers/mic for telephone & music.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Fab DVD rental machine

My friend Jacob had a record store called DNA on Pine avenue near St. Laurent, I don't know what happened to his record store but he now has a cool DVD rental store that is self serve machine based. Cool stuff, you buy debit card and then take out and return movies from the machines 24/7. The best part about it is that the movies are a buck for 6 hours. WICKED! The technology has been around in Europe for five years and the franchises just opened up here in Montreal recently. Great idea, low margins, high volume, low overhead - good business model so far. If Blockbuster gets in on it though, they might have problems. Hopefully these things will shake up the whole industry and drive down the prices. Good luck Jacob, and if you live in the plateau, you should support him by renting there, save yourself some money and in turn keep some more money in our local economy.

gripe: If only they had previews....

And finally here's a few places to get some fine bathing suits for the ladies who may be considering boating with me next summer:

Friday, September 24, 2004

Candiru - the penis vampire fish

Sean told me about these dudes that surf a standing wave in the St. Lawrence . Seems like fun but the water is sketchy out there and I just saw a nasty documentary about a really toxic PCB dump upriver 1KM at the Technopark.

I looked up river surfing and found this bizarrre phenomena where large waves run upriver from the ocean once a year in a few rivers. One of them is in the bay of Fundy in Canada, I wonder if anybody has ever surfed it. There's one in Brazil and they actually have a contest there. The really sketchy part is this nasty parasitic fish in that river that swims up your dick or your ass and then sucks your blood and gorges on your flesh. No crap, it's a real fish called the "Candiru". Look it up yourself.

Here's what I found:

"However the reason that the Candiru is most feared by humans is because it is the only vertebrate known to parasitize humans! The fish is said to be addicted to the taste and smell of human urine. Candirus parasitize humans, when they are skinny-dipping while urinating in the water. The candiru tastes the urine stream and follows it back to the human. It then swims up the anus and lodges itself somewhere in the urinary tract with its spines. Blood is drawn, and the candiru gorges itself on the blood and body tissue, its body sometimes expanding due to the amount of blood consumed. Once inside it would eat away the mucous membranes and tissues until hemorrhage would kill it or the host. It was also said that even if one caught the fish by the tail, once in the urethra it could not be pulled out because it would spread itself like an umbrella.

The Candiru can attack both men and women. Penectomy is generally preferred to the misery and pain associated with leaving the fish in the urethra. One way to expel the fish would be to drink the juice of the green fruit of the Jagua tree, Genipa Americana L. The juice of this fruit is brewed into a tea and drunk hot, supposedly causing the skeleton of the fish to dissolve and resulting in its expulsion from the victim within a couple hours. A synthetic version of the brew has been used in the past by urologists to dissolve bladder "incrustations" and kidney stones. The Candiru can also be removed surgically. But both these processes are time consuming.

There are moves to ban the import of these fish into the United States because of fears that
some of them might find their way into American rivers and wreck havoc. As of now there are no known predators of the Candiru and apart from their feeding habits there is very little information available about them. "

Cameron Diaz is a selfish bitch

Read about it yourself. What a biatch.

of course i'm kidding, chill out tightass

Oh yeah, this is pretty funny - watch out for gypsy balls.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Michael Moore is full of shit

I keep hearing people quoting Michael Moore, he said that Canadians own more firearms per capita than Americans. I am calling bullshit:

7.9 Million firearms in Canada - 31.4 Million people
Canada: .2516 firearms per capita
Source: Canada Firearms Centre Study

222 Million firearms in the US - 270 Million people
US: .82 firearms per capita
Source: Cohilition for gun control

Michael Moore was off by a factor of over 3 on this "fact" that keeps getting quoted by ignorant Canadians.

I was never for or against gun control because I didn't know much about it. I have a countryplace in an area where everybody has some kind of firearm (hunting) and NOBODY gets shot. I did my research and here's what I found:

- Gun control laws and per capita ownership has no relationship worldwide to firearm deaths
- The stats for international gun ownership versus violent crime will show you some pretty wild facts, there is no clear trend
- Michael Moore focused on Colombine and not Compton - this is the exception not the rule
- Washington DC is a gun free zone and since it has been, weapons crime has gone up dramatically
- Florida liberalized concealed weapons and most gun control advocates thought that mayhem would break out. This didn't happen.
- The so called "assault weapons" ban that just expired didn't have any measurable impact as all it did was make weapons with a combination of 2 out of 6 dangerous features illegal to manufacture and sell. These weapons were already in the hands of those that wanted it. These types of weapons were never a serious "material" threat to the general public - the historical stats prove that.

So in the end, I have no answer or opinion regarding gun control although I am less of a believer than I used to be as you can probably tell. It doesn't work according to the stats but it does make some people feel better.

We Canadians just don't have a clue what it's like to live in a country where all of the bad guys have guns on them all the time. I encourage you to go check out both sides of the story from the gun control and gun lobby side. Just stop quoting Michael Moore, he's a pathelogical liar.

Anti gun:
Stop the NRA
Coalition to stop gun violence
Coalition for gun control (Canada)
Google - gun control

Pro gun:
Google - right to bear arms

And some articles that I think are pretty interesting:
Fewer guns, more death
Fighting back

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Enough with the flames already

Do you remember in the 80's when everybody chopped off their sideburns and had their muttons chopped from the ears down like kraftwerk? Anybody remember acid washed jeans? Looked great back then with a Guns'n Roses wife beater. Mark my words, in a couple of years you're going to be looking at iron crosses, flames and tribal tattoos in the same sour disdain. Save yourself now, shed that crap and quick before you find yourself in one of those "what was I thinking" timeless pictures. Like the one with you wearing a dayglow bandana to keep your mullet bangs out of your eyes.

Things I'd like to see die:

1) Iron crosses
2) Flames on everything
3) OCC & West Coast Chopper stuff (especially the crap at Zellers)
4) Tribal tattoos
5) Harley t-shirts & underwear
6) Faux-hawks and pointy ridge gel hair
7) Contrived indy rock
8) Those god damn MTV spots that they haven't changed for too goddamn many farking years
9) Michael Moore educated vegan eco-drones
10) Post modern hippy culture
11) "X" everything - how the hell is toothpaste extreme?
12) Paris, Jessica, Avril and Britney (not dead, just gone away like the Spice Girls)
13) Reality shows
14) Manufactured pop singers and their goddamn factory shows

Things I'd like to see/see more of:

1) Fish tacos (don't laugh until you had one)
2) Lumberjack fashion
3) The Clash
4) Alexis on Fire/Avenged Sevenfold/Screamers
5) Girl rockers/Kittie/Distillers
6) Motocross tracks and offroad trails close to the city
7) A mini-cross track in town
9) Free outdoor shows (although there are lots already)
10) Better ways to hear new music
11) MuchLoud
12) Space 1999/Logans Run/Bladerunner esthetics
13) Community kite fighting
14) Urban paint ball days
15) Surfable standing waves in rapids
16) Beer price wars
17) Gas price wars
18) Better/cheaper/universal PVRs

Monday, September 20, 2004

Fall has fallen

Have you ever wondered where you can get instant replay binoculars? Or perhaps a washingmachine that can read smart tags on clothes and automatically wash them and then email you when it's done. You can find them at I especially like the Metasonix TX-1 Agonizer, distortion box/pedal with "strangle", "pound" and "suck harder" knobs.

BTW: If you live in montreal, check out for upcoming concert listings.

Yeah, my boat came out of the water this weekend marking the start of fall. I didn't even get to do any motocross this weekend because I was too busy and tired so I'm going to be a fireball this week. Talk about a bogus weekend.

Friday, September 17, 2004

Songs of Summer 2004

Here's the top ten songs most likely to be heard around me during summer 2004:

something beautiful - cauterize
second heartbeat - avenged sevenfold
in this diary - the ataris
dyers eve - metallica
rank n file - anti flag
whole lotta rosie - acdc
unholy confession - avenged sevenfold
one shot down - the briggs
come with me - puff daddy and jimmy cliff
immigrant song - led zepplin
perfect - smashing pumpkins
true believers - bouncing souls

Yeah there's twelve songs in my top ten, so sue me.

When you're done, check out this video from Cauterize

SWEET: The Wailers Rock!

On a random whim, I invited a few friends to go and see a free outdoor show put on by the Concordia Students Union that was right next to my office. Well I got the day wrong and I was out of town on the day of the show (thursday) but I did get back in in time and against all odds, my old friend Marko and Mario both came around and we had a really wicked time. The band was The Wailers who were one of the seminal Reggae bands. Bob Marley, Bunny Wailer and Peter Tosh were all in the Wailers at one time and the founding brothers were part of the rock steady bands that released "Liquidator" and "Return of the Django". Seeing them live and for free with a few thousand people was just wicked. It really helped that we had crazy warm weather, usually it is blowing, raining and cold but last nite was tropical. Of course, the beer ticket fiasco was just plain dumb. It's a good thing that we found a depanneur on the street selling brown bag heinies 'cuz I was getting a bit pissed. Also, how can you serve a few thousand people beer without providing a single ferking toilet? Despite that, I laughed so hard that I was in tears most of the night and everybody was in a killer mood. Wicked show, wicked night - I've gotta do this more often. Posted by Hello

Monday, September 13, 2004

Teddy is dead

I wrote about seeing a little bear a couple of weeks ago on my street. My heart sank early Saturday morning when I went for my daily trail ride and rode by the dead body of this fat little bear cub. I am guessing that it got hit by a car and then crawled off and died. This made me really sad.

The weather was hot and weird this past weekend. We wake surfed for the last time this year - the boat goes away for the winter next week. Next year is going to be nuts, I can't wait already.

On a different note, my friend Chuck hit a steel cable in a trail in 5th gear and got taken down with his motocross and broke his wrist/arm really bad. He's going into surgery today. Good luck Chuck, we'll ride again next year. Posted by Hello

Hurricane Frances petered out when it hit Canada but it left Lac Ouareau with a flash rainstorm that raised the water level by 18 inches. My dock is now underwater and my boat is touching the roof of the boathouse. There were unleashed docks and all kinds of junk floating everywhere this past weekend. Posted by Hello

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

September is starting out pretty good so far, the water is still warm and the weather isn't terrible yet. Last year was really crap so I'm hoping that we have a couple of warm weeks coming up. It looks pretty good so far but the weather people have been really off this year.

I did a lot of bbq'ing this weekend and I would really recommend Marche Akhavan in NDG (6170 Sherbrooke) to anybody wanting some ethnic grub. Wicked marinated lamb chops, "meat flaps" (don't laugh they're awesome), marinated quails, etc.

I crashed my motocross pretty hard and fast this weekend in the trails, skeety stuff - I was shaking pretty bad when it was over. I realized that I really need some handguards to stay out of the emergency room.

Here's some terms that me and the clowns in St. Do came up with this past summer in case you don't understand what I'm saying sometimes:

skid pad: grundle (usually on a motocross seat)
packing the pork: put on your wetsuit
skeets: shaking after a huge scary crash (motocross)
barp: barf flavoured burp
chowder: floating barf
marination: warming up your wetsuit by peeing in it
knave: ferking idiot
boat slut: somebody who goes from boat to boat without owning one
sandbags: people who come out on boats but don't ride
pretard: dumb kid
jizz job: lubing your chain (motocross)
jerky: scrapes

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

A tribute to Indian Larry - RIP

Some of you might not know yet but most people in the motorcycle world are a little shook up because Indian Larry died this past Saturday during a bike show. He was doing a stand up stunt that's his trademark in front of 4000 people when he crashed and died. Indian Larry is/was a legend and he inspired people everywhere. Covered head to toe in tattoos, he defined the spirit of biking and why we who love bikes are different from the rest of you. I have to say that it pisses me off a bit that motorcycles and custom bike culture has been yuppy-commoditized but then again it's also nice to live in a more bike friendly world. The two wheeled family got a lot bigger in recent days and Larry is and always will be a family godfather. Like all families, this one is especially sad to have lost such a seminal patriarch. We're going to miss you Larry - RIP, your legend lives on.